Take a shot every time I start a blog entry with a busy morning where I tell you that I'm tired, because I bet you can guess how this one is going to start. Picture this: it's 3:05 AM, my alarm is going off, I'm warm and comfortable in bed, Quinn is curled up into my side and I absolutely do not want to get up. I'm two seconds away from neglecting my responsibilities for a few extra hours of sleep when Jarren stirs beside me and I realize that I've already disrupted everyone else's sleep, I might as well make it worthwhile. Begrudgingly, I force myself out of my warm bed and into the shower to get ready. I turn lights on and shuffle about, my eyes barely even open because I'm so tired and they refuse to adjust. I'm half awake in the shower and only just coming to life as I'm blow drying my hair afterward. Time ticks on and I realize how close it is to leaving time. The State College airport is 15 minutes away, but I'm not getting lucky enough to fly out of there today. I'm heading to Dallas for a meeting at American Airlines Headquarters and AA booked my flight out of Harrisburg because the State College flight schedules wouldn't align with our start time. I'm grateful for a free trip and an opportunity, but my God, am I not happy about having to drive 100 miles this early in the morning.

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I glance at my phone: 4:30 AM. I was supposed to leave at 4:20 AM. Great. I wake the sleepyheads in the warm bedroom to say goodbye, rush out of the house and begin flying down the street. I don't want to hear anyone talking shit about me speeding today, ok? I just don't. Keep it to yourselves. I get to around Lewistown when the fog gets so thick, I can't see anything in front of me. I go from doing 80 to 50, straining my eyes against the foggy, pitch black in front of me. I never had to use my brights in New York, so it just never crossed my mind to use it here until a semi on the opposite lane cut through the fog with theirs. I was like, "Oh, that's right, that's the point of those," flipped mine on, and watched the world form in front of me. Truly life changing stuff, those brights.

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Anyway, I'm rushing, get to the airport at around 6:14 AM. I'm looking for long-term parking so I can park and go, but it seems really really far from the actual airport and my flight is boarding in 15 minutes. I suck it up and park in the short-term parking garage that's connected to the airport. This will end up costing double what it would've if I'd parked in long-term, but at least I won't miss my flight. I am running from the lot to security when I notice that AA never assigned my Known Traveler Number (KTN) to my ticket. I'm beyond late at this point, so I do something kinda crappy: I go into the PreCheck line, anyway. The agent calls me out on my shit, saying I shouldn't have tried to cut the line if my ticket didn't say PreCheck on it, I'm pleading with him, telling him I do have PreCheck and can give him my KTN to prove it and that my flight is literally right about to board. He lets me go, but tells me not to do it again. I promised I wouldn't, got through security, and ran to my gate. I am the last person to board.

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Two and a half hours later, we begin our descent into DFW and I'm thanking my lucky stars that we had a smooth flight the entire way through, when the pilot pulls us back up and announces that the aircraft in front of us slowed down a little too quickly and we ended up being too close to them, so we have to go around again to get back into the line safely. 30 minutes later, we finally begin our descent again and land safely 5 minutes after that.

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Not too long afterward, I am sitting on a shuttle to the rental car section of the airport, where I would be meeting my Turo car rental. After everyone boards, the shuttle departs, and an abandoned phone sitting across from me begins to ring. The guy next to it answers and begins to explain to the caller that this phone was left on the shuttle and he only answered in case the person who lost it was calling. He ended up getting the person's info and told them he would only be in Dallas for a few days, that he would either ship it to them while he was here or send it to them once he got back home. That would definitely never happen in New York, I think to myself. "That was really nice of you," I say to him once he hangs up. We begin chatting and I learn that he's from Mechanicsburg, a town not too far from Harrisburg, and that he was here in Dallas for work. I share that I live in State College and just flew from Harrisburg. "What a small world," I remark. The shuttle stops at rentals and we part ways. David from Mechanicsburg, if you're reading this, it was very nice chatting with you. 

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I received a message from my rental owner earlier that he would be in the parking lot across the street, so I grab my suitcase and stroll over. I compare the photo of the car on the app to the cars in the lot and finally find the right one. I walk over and introduce myself. After doing the initial liability stuff we had to do for Turo, the owner, Sun, asks if we can drive him back to his house and then I can take the car from there. "Sure!" I say and hop into the passenger seat. I know what you're thinking: this is dangerous. I have anxiety and am in constant fear for my life, so yes, I can totally see what you're seeing because initially, this crossed my mind as well. However, I had Teams open on my work phone, about to get on a work call, and my friends and family all have access to my location. This is so Gen Z of me to say but, honestly, the vibes just weren't off enough for me to think I was in an unsafe situation, so I went along with it. Clearly, I am here to share this story with you today so I am alive and well. It was actually a pretty enjoyable and short ride. I learned that Sun was from South Korea, he went to middle school in Forest Hills, not too far from where I went to high school, and that he moved to Dallas when he received a job with American Airlines. He and his wife, who is also from South Korea, just bought their first home in Irving, which is where we were headed. We played a little airport code trivia and before we knew it, we were at his house. He got out and handed over the keys to me. I thanked him for letting me use his car and headed off to my hotel to drop off my stuff.

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I get to the hotel and I'm surprised with what I find. I'd actually chosen this hotel, not American Airlines, and I did all of my research on it before I chose it, so you'd think I would've known that it was in a shopping complex, but I didn't. I was excited about the prospect of getting to walk around at Target and Home Goods later, and was immediately glad I'd made the choice that I did. I pulled into a parking space next to the hotel, got my stuff, and went inside.

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I was surprised the desk attendant was letting me check in this early, seeing as it was only 11 AM. I assumed it was because I was checking in on a random Wednesday in October.  She asks me if the third floor is ok, to which my DoD brain went, "The third floor is actually the safest floor to be on," but in real life I just responded "Yes," and took my key.

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When I got to my room, I was pleasantly surprised. The decor was nice, everything seemed relatively new, and I had a fun people-watching view of the Old Navy parking lot and highway a bit away (that may sound so unnecessary, but I love people watching, so this was a real plus for me). Glancing at the time, I saw that it was already 11:15-ish, which meant that any chance I'd had at getting to see the stampede at the Fort Worth Stockyards was now officially gone, which was a little disappointing considering that I didn't get to see it the last two times I'd been in Dallas, either. There is a 4 PM stampede as well, but I wasn't about to trick myself into thinking that I was going to make it to that. I decided to accept it and move on because, well, that's all I could do, and then proceeded to change and leave.

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By the time I got back into the car, it was around 11:30 AM. My GPS said the drive to Magnolia Table would be around an hour and a half. I hadn't eaten all day apart from cookies on the plane, which made me worried about driving 100 miles on an empty stomach, but I didn't want to get an actual meal because my first stop in Waco was going to be for food. So, what did I do? Well, I went to Starbucks, of course. Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew totally counts as a meal; Go ahead, meme me, I don't care.

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After grabbing a cup of my pride and joy, I was off to Waco. Around 45 minutes outside of Dallas, I came upon a sign I was not expecting: exits for Burleson, TX. If you've noticed, this blog is written by yours truly, Danielle Deodath-Burleson. Yup, Burleson. This isn't my lineage or prize to claim here, it's all Jarren's, but we have both been a little fascinated with little ole Burleson, Tejas ever since we found out about it. Jarren did some deep diving and ended up finding out that Burleson is named after his family, the "Southern Burlesons" as he likes to call them, who journeyed and set up camp in the South after arriving as some of the first settlers here in America. Jarren's family are all "Northern Burlesons," who went from Mass/NY out west. There's actually a Burleson lineage group that writes books on their past and present family members and hosts a massive Burleson gathering every year for all the Burlesons in the country to get together. A good deal of them still live in Burleson, Texas. Anyway, I just happened to be driving by and thought that was super cool, but didn't see much of a reason to stop. Family lineage aside, it just seemed like a pass-through town. (Note: If you're from the area and feel otherwise, please feel free to share your take with me!).

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The rest of the drive wasn't too eventful and I was thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't getting too tired to continue on. Surprisingly, I made it to Magnolia Table at 1:28 PM, a whole two minutes earlier than my reservation time. I pulled into the parking lot and I was pretty surprised at the location.  For one, I thought Magnolia Table would've been situated in or at least relatively close to the Magnolia Silos, but I could not have been more wrong. The restaurant, which was beautifully designed and exactly as I'd imagined, was situated in kind of a rinky-dinky parking lot at an odd intersection. The surrounding area didn't look nice at all, just roads toward the front that didn't seem to be upkept and the highway behind it. I consulted Apple Maps and found out that the Silos were actually like, a 10 minute drive away.

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I walked into the restaurant to be seated, bypassing a line of other people without reservations. I was surprised at how busy this place was for just a random Wednesday in October, but I guess that's what happens when you're one of the biggest tourist attractions in town. I waited a few minutes until they had a seat available for me and then was whisked away to a quaint little farmhouse table. Even though I still had some Starbucks in the car, I needed to wake up, so I ordered a lavender cappuccino and a burger. Since I was noticeably alone, my waiter placed my order and then came back to chat with me. A Waco native, he loved the idea of running away to Kalispell, Montana, which I found rather interesting. He was kind and talkative, which I appreciated as a good distraction while I was waiting. When the food was ready, he dropped it off and left me to eat in peace.

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As I ate, I looked around and marveled at the clean, farmhouse design of the inside. Anyone with eyes could tell that Jo crafted this herself, and it was beautiful to dine in. I looked around me and it was all women, save for a few tables of couples where I could totally tell that the wife had just dragged the husband along on her own pilgrimage. It was both heartwarming and funny to watch, because the men really visibly did not care about the aesthetics of the place.

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After eating, I paid and left, trying not to dilly dally too much and head to the Silos before I had the chance to feel too tired to enjoy it. Driving to the Silos was also another eye-opening experience. I'll be honest, I didn't know a damn thing about Waco before coming here other than the fact that Chip and Jo are based here, Baylor University is here, and that Branch Davidian and the ATF had a massive shootout here that we've all seemed to have forgotten about. In my mind, Waco was this squeaky-clean, small-to-midsized Texas town with pretty suburban neighborhoods. Nothing that I'd come into Waco expecting seemed to be accurate. Waco, in my opinion, seemed to be run down and truthfully, looked unsavory. It was only until I got to the Silos that I realized that Chip and Joanna Gaines were gentrifying Waco for the better. As I searched for parking, it became evident to me that the area immediately surrounding the Silos was nice and safe, but the areas outside of it? Not so much. I was genuinely shocked. The parts of Waco I'd seen were not places that I would walk around at night.

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Anyway, I parked in the free lot a block away and made my way over to the Silos in what had become unbearable, typical Texas heat. I mentally cursed myself out for being too lazy to grab my sunglasses out of our truck this morning. The grounds of the Silos were gorgeous. It was like a small town within one giant block of land. There was an outdoor grass and fireplace area with lounging seats for people to mingle in, which made me wish I had someone else here with me so that we could grab a coffee and relax there together.

 

I made my way over to the actual Silos first, which I thought would be busier than it actually was. Again, there was seating and turf to lounge around in front of the Silos. I wanted a photo here to commemorate my trip, but I'd forgotten my selfie stand at home and obviously had come here with no one. There was a family sitting on some bean bag chairs, getting ready to leave, as I approached. I awkwardly asked one of the kids if he could take a photo of me. He took a few that I didn't end up liking, but I was too embarrassed to ask for more or to ask someone else. I knew this would probably be the only time in my life that I'd be here, but my social anxiety got the better of me, so I accepted the awful photos and walked away as quickly as I could.

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I called my mom to share my experience with her for a bit. My mom is the person who got me into Fixer Upper in the first place; she'd turn it on when we had nothing to do at the end of the night, and I've fallen down the HGTV rabbit hole ever since. Walking around alone, I wished she could've been there, but then I was like, it's 2023, I can just Facetime her, so I did. We walked around "together" and saw some of the grounds, then she got busy at work and had to go, so it was just me again. I normally don't mind hanging out with myself, but something about that whole awkward photo encounter and seeing other women here with their friends and significant others seemed to have thrown me for a loop. I was starting to feel lonely. I texted Jarren about all of the husbands here that clearly got dragged along because their wives wanted to come, which he found funny. I wished I could've dragged him along, too (although maybe "drag" isn't the right term because we both watch Fixer Upper and all of the variations of it together and we're all caught up now).

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I walked around a few of the shops and, for a change, was met with exactly what I'd expected: expensive home goods. Magnolia Home in particular seemed to be just a pricey version of Jo's Hearth and Hand collection at Target. I'm talking $30 for a mini candle, $60 for a regular sized one, $160 for regular linen sheets, $200 for a throw blanket. It was pricey pricey. The other little shops around the Silos weren't much better. There was a clothing store with $60 basic tees, a sports shop with $40 baseballs, and a beauty shop with $25 bars of soap. Seriously.

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After walking around pretty much everything, I decided to head over to the Silos-end of the block to visit the largest store, Magnolia Market. This store had pretty much everything from all of the other stores, plus some extras. I ended up grabbing my mom a "Waco Silos" magnet and got myself the same design as a Christmas ornament to commemorate my trip here. This is tradition I've adopted from my mother-in-law, Steph, where I try to add something to our tree every year to depict a highlight of our year. We got married this year, but I suspect Steph will be getting us an ornament for that since she got us an engagement ornament last year. I've traveled a lot this year, and I've always wanted to visit Waco, so I figured a Magnolia Silos ornament would be perfect; I'll just write the year on the back in permanent marker, no one's gonna care.

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The AC is down in every single shop at the Silos and they're all making do with some large portable fans. It is sweltering in here, and as soon as I'm done paying for my items, I start feeling severely dehydrated. I begin worrying that I'm not going to make it back to the car. I rush over to Magnolia Press, a coffee shop located in the direction of the car, and grab a ($3) bottle of water. I can't get it open in the store, so I just try to make it back to the car as quickly as I can so I can struggle with it in peace.

 

The sun is beating down on me and I'm really not feeling great at this point. It takes everything in me not to panic, considering how far away I am from Dallas and the fact that everyone I know in Texas in the event of an emergency also happen to live in Dallas. I make it back to the car in one piece, get in, and immediately turn the car on and crank the AC to high. I hate idling cars because of how bad it is for the environment, but I absolutely needed to cool down or I'd pass out. When I start feeling a little cooler, I begin trying to open the water bottle again. The bottle is completely aluminum and I struggle so hard with it that I don't even realize I am slicing the side of my right pointer finger open in the process. The cap seal is only partially breaking off and has sliced so much into my finger that by the time I realize what's happening, there is blood and skin everywhere. I take a second to deal with the mess, then I go back to trying to open the bottle. After another struggle, I finally get it open and chug some water down. It's like pure nectar from God, Himself, and I immediately begin to feel better. After that whole ordeal, I just sit there. I sit and I stare out at the building across from me for what felt like 30 minutes, but was really more like 3.

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It was around 4:00 PM now, and my plan for my next stop was to head to Buc-ee's in Ennis on my way back to Dallas. I was super excited about it, but sitting in the car now, I knew it wouldn't be feasible. The trip back to my hotel was an hour and a half, and the trip just out to Buc-ee's would be an hour and a half, mildly out of my way, adding an extra hour or so to get back to the hotel afterward. I didn't have any plans for the rest of the day, so it would've been fine to do, but I was exhausted and was again, starting to worry about making the 100 mile drive back to Dallas to get some rest. I could dwell on it all I wanted to, but the fact of the matter is that I needed to get back to Dallas or I'd be stranded in Waco with nowhere to go. I had no one else to drive me, I had nowhere safe to sleep, I needed to get back to Dallas no matter what. I filled up gas in Waco because it was way cheaper than it was in Dallas ($3.19 vs. $4.00), then I headed out onto the highway. I powered through the drive and by the time I got back to Burleson, I felt totally awake and fine. I almost regretted not going to Buc-ee's. Almost.

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When I got back near the hotel, feeling awake and energized, I decided to head across the highway to PetSmart to do some light shopping for Quinn and Stella. PetSmart is my favorite pet store, but unfortunately, we don't have one in State College. I have to settle for Petco, which just doesn't hit the same. I normally buy the dogs toys at the PetSmart in Levittown every time I go home, but I had one at my disposal now and also had nothing else to do, so I couldn't pass it up.

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After strolling and looking at toys for a bit, the sun began to go down. I decided to grab some dinner and head back to the hotel to get some rest. I'd planned to go out and get Tex-Mex tonight, but I all of a sudden didn't really feel like being out alone, so I went over to the Chipotle on the other side of the lot to grab a bowl.

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After picking up my order and bringing it back to the car, I found myself sitting in the parking lot just feeling... empty. It was like the growing lonliness I'd been feeling all day had finally culminated into massive emptiness.  I was going back to an empty hotel room and on the other side of the country, Jarren was getting ready to go see Bill Burr. I was supposed to go with him, but I ended up having to miss it for this opportunity with American Airlines. I felt so alone. I missed my husband. I missed my dogs. I just wanted to go home. Of all the times I’ve traveled alone, the end of today had to have been the time I’ve felt the loneliest. All I wanted to do was drive the car straight home, jump into bed, and lay under the weight of Quinn and Stella on me with Jarren next to me. Maybe it would be hot and uncomfortable, maybe Stella would kick me in the face, maybe Jarren would be listening to a video with the volume on high (why do men do that?), but I wouldn’t care because I’d be home. This was maybe the first time since we left New York that I really longed for State College. I mean, the fact that I was listening to Tyler Childers definitely did not help, but anyway, how lucky am I to have something worth missing that much? I teared up in the parking lot for like, a second, and then I went back to the hotel to wallow in my loneliness in private.

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Once safely locked into my room, I ate dinner with the accompaniment of some home renovation YouTube videos (don't judge). I was still sad, thinking about Jarren enjoying the comedy show with a friend when I should've been there instead, but then I got distracted with a downpour that began pounding on my windows and the world outside. I watched as people began scurrying from stores to their cars, watched regular life unfold in front of me. It was nice, even a bit relaxing.

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When it looked like it was getting late, I began to pack all of my stuff up and get prepared for tomorrow morning. I needed to be at American Airlines headquarters at 8:45 AM at the very latest, so that I could do check-in and be ready for my meeting at 9. This, coupled with the fact that I had to return the car before I got there, meant an early morning was on the horizon. I got everything in order, set my alarm, and laid down. I called Jarren and we talked for a bit, which brought a great deal of comfort to my lonely day. After an hour, I was hitting my bed time, so we said goodbye and I laid in bed, drifting off to the sound of the rain coming down outside.

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